The Top Ways to Ruin "Lost"

I, like many, think that LOST is the greatest thing to happen to TV in a long time. It has astounded me with incredible episode after incredible episode- just when I think it can't get any better, it does.

That is, until this season.

I hate to be a naysayer, but our show is in trouble. There are some pretty dangerous ways our beloved LOST is heading, and I for one am worried about some of the ways the writers might take the show. The following list are the top ways that the writers can ruin LOST. Some of them are far fetched, and some have already happened.

5) They can find a holodeck located in the bunker.

It was a cute concept in Star Trek: The Next Generation, and absolutely killed Star Trek: Voyager. My addiction to LOST is up there with those shows, so naturally I fear it might suffer the same demise. Can you imagine Jack, Kate, and Sawyer deciding to take a trip to 18th Century England, but then the computer has a malfunction that it's no longer a game and they are running for their lives? Yeah, that would be bad. But not as bad as if...

4) They have a cute kid who makes a lot of stupid comments.

Even worse, they could give him a stupid tagline, a la "What you talking about, Willis?" Imagine how bad the show could be if at the end of every episode, the kid looks at the camera and says, "Dang, we iz so..." and then the word "LOST" appears.

Do you think this is far fetched? Well, not as much as we might hope. They have a baby on the show that have ruined three characters already. Claire has become a text book example of someone who hasn't read "What to Expect When You're Expecting". Merry (I can't remember his name on the show, I just call him by his Hobbit title) has turned an annoying Mr. Mom, with no future depth on his horizon except revisiting a drug addiction story line that we already covered in season 1. And John has turned into grandpa. Speaking of John, another great way to ruin the show is to

3) Keep turning John into a wide-eyed wussy.

This was the guy who was killing wild boars in the first season, and know he's talking to Mr. Echo like he's retarded. He's organizing schedules, he's welcoming new guests, he's giving baby advise... John has become the most feminine person on the show. Which leads us to then next thing the show doesn't need...

2) More romance.

I would attribute the writers ability to write romance only a little above George Lucas. What was the deal with the Sayid/Shannon romance? I'll build you a house, sleep with you, and proclaim my undying love for you, even though my entire back story is trying to find the chick I tortured but then let go. If Shannon hadn't have gotten popped at the end of the episode, we would have all been crying foul.

The problem is that the writers have no idea how to write women, except in sterotypes. You've got the black grandmother who keeps the faith and enjoys doing laundry; you've got the quiet oriental woman who knows lots about herbs and spices; you had the young, attractive, but stuck up West Coast girl (who, after Sayid slept with her, there was really nothing to do but to kill her); you have the young mother who is always complaining that she doesn't know what she's doing (not much character depth there- see point 4); you've got Kate, who IS a man; and now you've got Anna Lucia, who is a MEAN man. Thank God "The Others" took away the children from these horrible role models. Which brings us to the top way they could ruin LOST...

1) Two words: Anna Lucia.

Suddenly, I'm starting to root for The Others.